He Slipped in the Bathroom

Did you just call me a suspect for murdering Herman Mildew? There is no way I could have ever killed Mildew; he was my dear editor and a friend. Yes, even after he ripped my book into pieces in public and declared how he lost faith in writers after reading my book. No, I did not hate him AT ALL.

His death is to be lamented. In fact, I believe that many of his writers are holding some festivals to mourn for his death. Yes, he was that much loved. You know you were a wonderful editor when millions of writers worldwide create a holiday just for you. In fact, I am guessing I will be attending to some of the events; I received about two hundred and ten invitation letters relating to Mildew’s death. Some even says how there will be disco dancing involved. I am quite appalled by how time has passed. These young writers nowadays employ “modern dancing” into funeral events. I believe it helps to extinguish the sorrow feelings. I must admit, they are very thoughtful.

What was I doing the night Mildew was murdered? Oh, I was very busy that night. I can prove to you that committing a murder was impossible for me. After I came back from work at five in the afternoon, I was changing the light bulb in my house. To be slightly more precise, light bulbs, for I replaced more than one. Are you asking me why I decided to change them all at once? You are a very inquisitive person.

Well, it all started when Mildew visited my house the day before his death to complain about my newly published work, He Slipped in the Bathroom. Have you read it yet? I must say, it is a masterpiece. No, it is not a comedy, it is a mystery novel. Well, Mildew said how it lacked coherence. He said how the victim could not die from electrocution, and how the crime would not have worked in real life. I strongly objected to the idea, and he told me that he would prove me wrong and left the room to go to the bathroom. The next minute, I heard multiple glasses breaking. No sir, I did not kill Mildew using the trick I used inside the novel. I would not be telling you this story if I was the culprit. Now, shall we go back to business? Good. So I slowly entered the room to find Mildew standing in middle of the dark room covered in shattered glasses! I do not know how he managed to break all ten light bulbs in the room, but he succeeded. Looking very furious, he told me that the situation I was looking at was the realistic outcome of my novel. Then he left my house.

Yes, he was a generous person. He chose to cover himself up in dangerous pieces of glass in order to teach me a life-long lesson. What I got out of it? I learned the importance of confirming each trick before writing it down. He was my true friend. I just wished that he paid for all the light bulbs, though.

In fact, if you are looking for the true criminal, I know a man who wanted to kill him. Do you know that man with the bold head and with an astounded look on his face? What was his name…. Oh yes, Mr. Jon Scieszka. You should definitely check him out. Oh, and don’t forget to buy He Slipped in the Bathroom. It is underpriced, it only costs one-twenty five, but it will soon become a modern classic.